remember the time shrek 2 ended with the best animated music number ever for no apparent reason
heard you were—fuck
heard you w—jesus gimme a sec—argh
heard you were talking shit
Marry me. Let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us.
Marry me. We can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time.
Marry me. We’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls.
Marry me. We can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.
Marry me. Slow dance with me in our bedroom with an unmade bed and candles on the nightstand.
This is hands down the best parody twitter ever
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”
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